Ok, so I can't help it. I just have to mention some of the crazy stuff that went down today:
1. CNN inauguration facts. Most of them told you exactly what you were watching or made no sense at all. For example, this fact appeared as Aretha Franklin sang: "CNN Fact: Aretha Franklin Sings "My Country 'Tis of Thee" at Inaguration ceremony." Thank you CNN for explaining exactly what I was seeing, as I was seeing it.
2. Speaking of Aretha, girl...did you see that hat?! It was gutsy and bold, but imagine it on a regular sized lady. If I put that on, I'd look like a pony somebody got for Christmas.
3. What's with the massive cheesecake with apples? Ok, I now know that Lincoln loved apples, but what does that have to do with Eli's of Chicago making a 500-pound inaugural cheesecake with an apple middle layer in homage to Lincoln's love of apples?! They'll use 100 pounds of cream cheese, 30 pounds of sugar, 25 pounds of sour cream, 126 eggs, 50 pounds of apples and 30 pounds of butter to bake it. The cheesecake is being served at the Commander-in-Chief Ball and leftovers donated to the DC Food bank. Does the DC Food bank want 200 lbs. of leftover cheesecake with apples? With all that butter, it should be malleable enough to create a pretty life-like Lincoln statue. That's my vote.
4. Funky Fresh. Whoever is covering the youth ball, Gary Tuchman, keeps using the word funky, as in Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. He keeps talking about the funky way the attendees are dressed, funky performers, funky crowd - basically there's just a whole lot of funk up at the Washington Sheraton. He also told Kanye West that he brought down the house.
5. Cheney's Legacy. As if it wasn't bad enough to mistaken someone in your cabinet for a bird, Cheney is at it again by injuring himself in the moving process. Cheney injured himself lifting boxes and had to attend the inauguration in a wheelchair. Seriously, the Bush administration is like a MAD TV sketch, embarrassingly bad.
I'm sure there are many more, but all this change has me beat. Goodnight Guantanamo. Goodnight Afghanistan. Goodnight Iraq. Goodnight Bush. Goodnight moon.