College Smells

Ok, so I'm a Penn State graduate. Although I must admit I love people that think PSU is Penn. This is how it typically goes down:

Person who doesn’t know the difference between PSU and Penn: "Hi, nice to meet you. Where did you go to school?"
Me: "Penn State."
Person who doesn’t know the difference between PSU and Penn: "Oh Penn. That's a great school. I don't know if I can hang out with an Ivy Leaguer?!"
Me: "Yes. My intellect is typically overwhelming for most. Let's just part ways before things get too complicated."

Or, the less preferable scenario:

Person who does know the difference between PSU and Penn: "Hi, nice to meet you. Where did you go to school?"
Me: "Penn State."
Person who does know the difference between PSU and Penn: "Oh dude, awesome! Did you party every night? Shipley is going all the way this year man. Don't you think?"
Me: "Oh yes, dude, ummm, yeah, party, party, party. I can't get enough party! Who, what? A Shipley? Oh yes, sure I'll have one."
Person who does know the difference between PSU and Penn: ...walks away awkwardly.
Me: "Damn."

All the PSU love fest that goes down at Happy Valley just never rubbed me the right way. It's my fault for thinking that a sporty, Greek-led university was a good match for me though (and I did meet some wonderful people there who allowed me to use the word "sexy" way more often than I ever should.), so I've decided to turn over a new leaf and become a proud, PSU graduate, without the booty shorts with paws on the butt, of course.

Anyway, let me get to the point of this post, which has little to do with everything I've talked about up until this point. Just as I'm working on my new persona, I find this:

Fans of Penn State can smell like the school for just $60.

Seriously, I mean, really? The only thing that would make this acceptable is if they made a cologne for die hard fans that smelled of beer, ranch dressing, the waffle house and the basement of a frat house. Now that is a worthwhile venture. Sign me up.