Who let the dogs out, and ironed them on your jacket?

To apologize for a week of no blog posts, I thought only a swinetastic jacket would do. Please note that Lassie is winking... at you. Enjoy. 

If Blossom and Family Matters were still on the air, even Ahmadinejad would have a soft spot for the US

I don't know why I'm on his blast from the past kick - first Alf, now Blossom, Six and Urkel - but hey, they don't make intros like this anymore. Hell, they don't make sitcoms anymore. If Blossom was on TV today, she'd be doing those dance moves in a bikini, holding scorpions while balancing on a tight rope. Down with reality TV! Except Rock of Love and Tough Love because those shows should have TV tenure. Don't judge me.

WARNING: Never Look a Gorilla in the Eye!

A gorilla named Bokito escaped from Rotterdam Zoo recently. During his escape the animal attacked a female visitor, who had frequent eye contact with the animal. This presumably led to the attack, since gorillas do not like direct eye contact. They're giving these glasses away at the Rotterdam Zoo following the incident. 

These could be useful in so many situations. The zoo is not one of them.

am Zoo after a woman was attacked by a gorilla she made eye contact with. These could be useful in so many situation.

Presidential Pirate Killers

Happy Easter!

Note to America

Dear America,

Just wanted to remind you that a short time ago, we used to watch this on prime time TV - like it was normal to live with a furry monster man who talked on the phone a lot and made you ham sandwiches.

Have a good night,
Me

P.S.: Should I be Alf for Halloween?

Tool of Year

"My card doesn't fit in a Rolodex, because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex!"

The Future of Plastic Surgery

Japan is better than the rest of the world in basically everything. This boob machine basically takes the cake. You've got it going on Japan, I'm not going to lie. Keep it up.