Note to America

Dear America,

Just wanted to remind you that a short time ago, we used to watch this on prime time TV - like it was normal to live with a furry monster man who talked on the phone a lot and made you ham sandwiches.

Have a good night,
Me

P.S.: Should I be Alf for Halloween?

Tool of Year

"My card doesn't fit in a Rolodex, because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex!"

The Future of Plastic Surgery

Japan is better than the rest of the world in basically everything. This boob machine basically takes the cake. You've got it going on Japan, I'm not going to lie. Keep it up. 

Picture of the Week 3.27.09

Where do I start?

Just Kick It!

Ahh, dude, you're out of freedom fries? Give me the Obama Fingers then.

Obama-Fingers (w/curry sauce): Germany's homage to our new president 

"It was supposed to be a homage to the American lifestyle and the new US president," said... Judith Witting, sales manager for Sprehe... "Americans are more relaxed. Not like us stiff Germans, like (Chancellor Angela) Merkel."

WAIT...IT GETS BETTER. Judith adds:

The idea, she claimed, was to get in on the Obama-mania which is continuing to grip Germany. The word "fingers" in the name refers to the fact that it is a finger food. "It's like hotdogs," Witting said. "No one would ever think they are actually from dogs."

Wait, these aren't Obama's fingers? Coated and fried? No thanks then. 

Wal-Mart's Latest Combo Deal: Buy a Wallet, Get 10 Teeth

FALMOUTH, Mass. — A customer shopping at a Walmart in Falmouth told store workers he found 10 human teeth in a wallet he was about to purchase.

Police said the man found the teeth Saturday when he unzipped a compartment in the wallet. One tooth had a filling.
The customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to employees but left the store without giving his name.
Police investigating the incident told The Cape Cod Times that the teeth belong to an adult, but since there was no blood or gum tissue on the teeth, they would be unable to perform DNA tests.

A Walmart spokeswoman said the company believes it was an "isolated incident," but will investigate.

-- Associated Press